June 25, 2011
Posted in Being Kemetic, Doing Heka
at 10:11 am
by Shefyt
In a previous post, I mentioned the chaos of the end of the year. The idea is that as the year winds down, things everywhere begin to unravel, including in our personal lives. This disarray reaches its peak in the five epagomenal days, the Days upon the Year that stand outside the rest of the Kemetic calendar. In myth, Nut was forbidden from giving birth to her children on any day of the year; feeling sympathy for her, Djehuty gambled with the moon and won five extra days upon which Nut’s children could be born: Wesir, Heru-wer, Set, Aset, and Nebt-het. These days, being outside the year, and further being a time of birth (always fraught with peril), are considered to be both extraordinary and dangerous. Typically we make amulets at each New Year’s retreat, to help protect us from the demons of plague, ill luck, and despair that haunt the year’s end.
In any case, after making that other post, I found myself regretting it. How am I staying in the moment when I’m pining for the next season? Far better to remain present and to deal with what is. So the other night I asked Bast for some heka that I could use to protect myself. I wanted to exercise my own strength against any threat to my well-being, especially to my inner, spiritual well-being, so that I can better live in the now, without fear or sadness.
She granted my desire, and I wish I could share what she gave me, because it was awesome, and I can already feel its effectiveness. And I think a large part of the experience’s power came from the fact that instead of asking for Her to step in and help me, to save me, I asked for the means to help myself. Clearly I need to do more heka.
Dua Bast! Your words are Your heka, and Your magic is great! May You bless me with Your wisdom, now and always.
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June 23, 2011
Posted in Being Kemetic, Thoughts and Reflections
at 5:48 pm
by Shefyt
In the Kemetic calendar, we’re currently in the third season, Shomu, the time of greatest heat and dryness. Only a little over a month remains until the turning of the year and the beginning of the season of Inundation, but for that time the chaotic energy of the year’s end holds sway. Here in the northeastern United States, the heat of summer has already begun, though it’s a humid heat for the most part, not the parched and desiccated barrenness of Egypt in the centuries before the great dam ended the river’s seasonal rise and retreat.
Already I’m longing for the time of flood, for the changing of the year, the fire of autumn leaves as the Goddess goes south to the land of gold. I’m longing for the breath of transformation, like the perfume of lotuses rising from living pools. I love the early summer well enough, but not the dragging, sweltering days in the middle of the season. And even though this year has been relatively cool and rainy so far, I feel as though I’m laboring to renew an inner life that has been sere of late — trying to nurture my seedlings through a difficult period. Maybe when the waters rise I’ll feel that renewal in my heart, and the gardens that I want to plant in my life will prosper in their time.
Dua Sekhet, Lady of the Fens, You who awaken to Hapy’s touch — hail and praise to You! May I live; may You give me life!
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June 19, 2011
Posted in Being Kemetic, Netjeru, Tending the Shrine, Thoughts and Reflections
at 8:37 pm
by Shefyt
I spent a little time outside today, enjoying the dappled sunlight under the trees, the gentle wind, the sweet, green smell of early summer. It’s nearly the solstice, the peak of the Eye of Ra’s presence before She turns toward the south. And although my Mother isn’t the face of the Eye who departs for other regions, Her presence was strong today as well.
As I sat outside, I was thinking and writing in my journal on what my work for Her truly is. My train of thought was inspired by reading Dver’s blog post on mysticism as vocation. I’m one of those who struggle to balance priest work with the demands of being a home owner and having a full-time job. (I don’t have family commitments to further complicate the issue, fortunately, but I do have four rather demanding furry children, in the persons of my cats.) And I often wonder, should I be making other choices? Is it possible to be a real and proper priest under these conditions, when in ancient times being a priest was a full-time vocation? On top of that, I’ve been badly off-kilter the last few months, wrestling with galloping anxiety that’s affected all aspects of my life, to the point where I was barely functional on any level and was seriously considering leaving the priesthood. But somehow I’ve hung on, and with a new therapy program and medication I’m slowly beginning to regain that precarious balance, and to be able to think again about where and how to best put my energy and attention.
What I hold onto is that Bast seems to be satisfied with my service. There are things that She would like me to do, but as far as the more complicated ones are concerned, She appears content to wait until I get other parts of my life sorted out. And as I’m getting better, my ability to hear Her directives has been improving once more — and this time, so has my will and focus to actually follow them! At least this is some progress on the path.
Speaking of the path, what is it, then, that I need to be doing in order to be Her priest? Trance work, spirit work, oracles and prophecy don’t seem to be my primary tasks. I’ve been through an ordeal of late, which has taught me lasting lessons, but my work isn’t the work of ordeals. I’m not the edgewalker, bridging the liminal gap between worlds. I read the blogs of other people, who do perform such functions, and I sigh with relief: This is someone else’s task, not mine. It’s a good feeling to realize that I don’t have to do everything, that there are many ways to serve as there are practitioners, as many as there are Gods.
So what work does Bast desire of me? Tending this place, my home and Her temple. Making my offerings. Blogging for Her. Lighting candles — bringing the flame into my life, and the sweetness of perfume. Praying for the benefit of others. Bringing Her Name before the ears and eyes of all the people.
The last couple of days, Bast has wanted me to dance in shrine, to be present there in movement and in great joy. This is the most important thing, I think — to move, to live, to love life, to dance to Netjer’s song of creation. And this, I think, I can do — I only have to remember, to open the space in the midst of all the other commitments and complications in my life. If I am truly living, alight with my love for Her and my appreciation of all Her gifts, then I am indeed serving as Her priest. In fact, I can do nothing else.
O Bast, may I live, may I dance for You, may I serve as Your priest in Your temple, now and always!
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October 6, 2010
Posted in Being Kemetic
at 6:50 pm
by Shefyt
It seems as though a lot of my posts relate either to my commute or to being at the gym, so let’s have a change of scenery today. The picture above is of my desk at work (click photos for larger versions). Although the picture was taken back in the spring, the space still looks largely the same, even though the work, reading material, and some of the plants have changed.
The old joke says that “a clean desk is a sure sign of a sick mind,” but for me, it’s very important that my personal spaces are both well ordered and soul-nourishing — and considering that I spend more time at work than I do anyplace else except my bed, I definitely consider my cubicle/office to be an essential personal space. The plants help to clean the air and bring their living colors, textures, and energy to my work area; the empty desk spaces give a tired, overscheduled mind a sense of quiet and calm, a place to rest. It’s always a clear signal of overwhelm when the clutter begins to take over. Yesterday I finally managed to get my desk back into order after a long struggle with stress and inertia, and everything feels so much better. I’m blessed as well with a large light-filled window that helps the plants to thrive, that lets me revel in the warmth and golden beauty of the sun, and that provides a view of the ever-changing sky.
Of course, Bast is present at my desk as well. The space next to my computer speaker houses a small cat statue to honor Her, a photo of a stream to give Her a home, and my collection of assorted rocks and semi-precious stones, found jewelry, and other objects. (This was recently cleaned up a bit as well.)
And finally what would a jungle be without a resident big cat? Meet Milo, the Very Helpful Smilodon:
The Gods are never far, and beauty can be found or made anywhere; thus we live, thus we breathe, thus we possess our lives.
Hail to You, O Beautiful Ones, in Your coming and Your going! Nekhtet!
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June 16, 2010
Posted in Being Kemetic, Home and Temple
at 11:07 pm
by Shefyt
Yesterday morning, I heard my Mother’s voice for the first time.
Usually when I “hear” Bast, what comes through is an impulse or a knowing that immediately is translated into words inside my head by what I call the “Bast voice,” which is not unlike the inner voices that belong to my various fiction characters. While this translation certainly helps my understanding, it can also be deceptive — sometimes it’s difficult to tell whether something is really Bast or is instead some part of myself.
On Tuesday I finally took a genuine first step toward getting some major home repairs and maintenance issues taken care of. The impression I got in shrine that night was that Bast was extremely pleased by this; in fact, She wanted some sistrum shaking to celebrate it. Later I also had a very striking dream that featured some powerful household protection imagery.
Yesterday morning, I was reflecting again on tending my home as part of my service to my Mother — on the true significance of it, when the shrine itself is considered to be the house of God. And a voice rolled through my head that was emphatically not mine:
I am there.
I wish I could describe that voice to you, but the memory of it has already blurred. I only remember that it was beautiful and resonant, that it was nothing like I would have imagined Bast to sound like, but at the same time it was utterly perfect for Her.
It’s funny — I’m so drawn to the mystical, the mythical, the poetic, and what does Bast want from me? A bathroom remodel. Well, to be more serious, there are a number of potential health and environmental issues that we’ll also be addressing: critters in the attic, potential mold inside the walls, an aging underground oil tank. On a level of practicing purity and living in ma’at, Bast’s engagement in all of this makes total sense. I still never quite expect God to be so pragmatic, though. And it was just as unexpected to hear Her speak at last, a moment of astonishment and wonder that I think will linger with me for a long time.
Dua Netjer! Dua Bast! Nekhtet!
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May 27, 2010
Posted in Being Kemetic, Festivals
at 1:24 pm
by Shefyt
The Beautiful Feast of the Valley has just ended, the great twelve-day festival during which the holy triad of Gods from Uaset, the city of Thebes — Amun, Mut, and Khonsu — sail to the western bank of the river to pay Their respects to Hethert and Wesir, and during which the people of Kemet would honor their Akhu, their beloved dead, with picnic feasts among the tombs. I think this is one of the festivals that loses a lot in the modern day — even if we could take a twelve-day holiday from work or other responsibilities, most of us would still be missing out on the processions, the revelry, the sheer emotional force of an entire populace joined in rituals of celebration and remembrance.
That said, it’s still worth celebrating. Last weekend, I enjoyed a lunchtime feast before my Akhu shrine, during which I talked with them about the past and also about my life right now. I actually spent quite a bit of time talking to my mother; and I was finally able to express my regrets that we probably had never understood each other very well, and to work through some of the ambivalence that I’ve been feeling toward her lately. At the end of the feast, I played my sistrum for the Akhu, which she seemed to think was a fun idea — I had the sudden mental impression of her shaking her own sistrum and doing the funny, awkward little bobbing dance that she used to do. It made me laugh. I’m not particularly adept at communicating with the dead, but I feel that we made a connection there, or perhaps cleared up a connection that was in danger of growing occluded.
Last night there was an online celebration in the House of Netjer chatroom, during which we named all of our Akhu and made offerings to them. Not quite the same as a live ritual, but powerful nonetheless to see that list of names scroll upward, to speak aloud the names of my own Akhu as I typed them in, the ripples of single drops falling into that great river. This year, unfortunately, daily life caught up with the Northeast region and we weren’t able to organize a get-together for the festival, but I hope we’ll be able to manage it again next year. The more that we can share in the great festivals of our religion, the better.
I’m also planning a personal Kemetic Memorial Day observance for this coming Monday, as a sort of addendum to the Beautiful Feast of the Valley. I’ll post about it here afterward.
May you and your dead be at peace, and may they bless you with good fortune and the everlasting comfort of their love.
Dua Akhu! Nekhtet!
A shrine for the online Beautiful Feast of the Valley ritual, featuring offerings of peonies from the garden, cool water (three glasses for the Theban triad, and a shot glass for the Akhu), and white chocolate (divided as well between the Gods and the Akhu). Note too the modern appurtenances: a binder serving as a windbreak to keep the air conditioner from blowing out the candles and a squirt bottle to chase away the cats.
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March 23, 2010
Posted in Being Kemetic, Festivals, Home and Temple
at 9:35 pm
by Shefyt
Last weekend was the spring equinox, and the weather was absolutely beautiful, so I spent a large chunk of time outside…doing yard work. (Which I actually do enjoy, although right now I have more tasks than I do energy.) At any rate, my plan on Saturday was to begin by picking up some pine cones out the back, and then move on to clearing up around the driveway. So I picked up cones and raked up pine needles and raked out a lot of old, dead grass, and over an hour later, I found myself asking, “Why am I still working on this one slope at the back of the house, instead of giving more attention to the front areas?”
And a few minutes later, I realized, “…oh. It’s because this is ‘the Door of the Sun,’ where I sometimes stand to salute Bast and Atum at sunset, especially during the lighter months of the year.” And thus reminded, on Sunday evening I did just that, acknowledging the next tick of the year’s clock and the ending of the Feast of Zep Tepi, to the trills of spring peepers and evening bird songs — adding in Heru-hekenu for the first time, to honor the full holy triad of per-Bast.
The Gods have a way of reordering one’s priorities.
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December 27, 2009
Posted in Being Kemetic, Festivals, Ten Days of Joy, Thoughts and Reflections
at 9:59 pm
by Shefyt
A major part of the process of settling and growing in Kemetic religion is figuring out one’s calendar. With some hundreds of known festivals filling almost every day of the year, it can be entirely overwhelming! Most people seem to prune it down to a handful of focused observances, with at best a quick candle lighting or a moment of prayer to acknowledge some of the other days.
The festival known as Bast Guards the Two Lands (sometimes called Bast Guides the Two Lands) is one of my big ones, and this year it was even more of a production than usual, with the Northeast gathering on one weekend, my own personal observance on the following Friday, and the Ten Days of Joy meditations spanning both. It included fellowship, singing, the decoration and shaking of sistra, the lighting of candles, offerings of chocolate and flowers and cookies and oranges and roast duck (among other things), long bouts of contemplation, a renewed sense of purity and the beginnings of a shift in spiritual focus, and through it all, the overpowering warmth and presence of my Mother’s love.
Six years ago, I celebrated this festival for the very first time, although I didn’t realize it then. It was a time of deep reflection, as it still is today, a time of sitting in darkness and opening to the light, a time of stillness and profound listening. And yet it’s also a festival of song and rejoicing, of group celebration and festivity, of laughter. It was interesting to me that the Ten Days of Joy also seemed to swing between stillness and exuberance, inward and outward, contemplation and action. Perhaps one could say that joy and love both reconcile all opposites.
Praise to You, Bast, pre-eminent in the field of the god! Mistress of Heaven, O Peerless One, Firstborn of Tem! May You guide us, may You guard us, in every day and every hour, as You guide and guard the Two Lands! Nekhtet!
(The picture above is from after the group celebration, when everyone else had left and our burned-down celebrant candles were removed from the bowl of sand, leaving just Bast’s central candle in place.)
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October 13, 2009
Posted in Being Kemetic, Stalking Beauty, Thoughts and Reflections
at 9:31 pm
by Shefyt
It was a good weekend — a friend and fellow Kemetic priest came to visit, and we went to the Metropolitan Museum in New York, and also simply spent time together talking about our practices. On Sunday, after the grocery shopping, I usually make offerings to my Beloveds, the God of the Year (currently Djehuty), and my Akhu; he sat in on that with me, and we added an offering for his Mothers, Nebt-het and Serqet. I’m used to doing offerings by myself, and it was an interesting and pleasant experience to be able to share that with someone. I think that there’s a lot we can learn, too, from watching and participating in each other’s rituals. Even if we’re working within the same basic framework, everyone brings their own touch, their own emphasis, their own poetry of gestures, words, and silences.
Another gray, cool day, a chill in the air that says autumn is here in earnest. It occurred to me just the other day that the colors of my state shrine — flame orange for the naos cabinet, shades of green and brown-gold for the curtained backdrop — echo the colors of this transition time, when the trees are just starting to catch fire. If you had asked me, once upon a time, what my least favorite color combination was, the answer would have been orange and green. It made me think of lurid fashion, of acidic day-glo and neon. And yet at Bast’s inspiration it’s become a thing of beauty for me. Now I see it with new eyes, a vision of fire and life and burning; now I associate it with the season that I love.
Tomorrow the House of Netjer will be holding an online oracle of Amun for its membership. I’ve been trying to think if I have anything to ask the God. Everything that’s unresolved for me right now is internal, not a question of “what should I do” or “what do I need to know” but of learning to be still with who I am and to see what’s truly around me. The secret of learning patience is to be patient.
O Amun, O Hidden One, may You help me to see what’s hidden from my view.
Dua Amun! Dua Bast! Nekhtet!
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June 30, 2009
Posted in Being Kemetic, Thoughts and Reflections
at 3:18 pm
by Shefyt
A lot of yard work this weekend, since the weather was cooperating. Actually, the weather has been quite cooperative in general over the last week or so: rain when I need to be indoors working on a freelance assignment, sun when it’s time to work outside. (And rain again when I’ve worked more than enough and just don’t want to admit it.) Almost four hours of leaf-raking, weed-pulling, and mowing on Sunday might have been a little much, but I’m starting to feel as though order is being restored to the place, bit by bit. And I still had time enough to visit the farmers’ market, and also to stop at one of the local farms and self-pick a pint of raspberries — offering the joy of harvesting abundance on such a beautiful day to Bast, and offering the berries themselves to Her later, in shrine.
Time enough — that’s abundance too. For years, I’ve struggled under the anguish of never having enough time to accomplish everything that I want to do. I don’t suddenly have more time than I used to — more like the opposite! And in fact I didn’t get to everything on my to-do list last weekend. But I did…enough. I filled the days well, with solid work interspersed with moments of calm and rest, and had no regrets at the end of it. What I didn’t get to, I’ll get to eventually, if it’s truly important. It’s a shift in perception brings relief, at last, from anxiety: satisfaction as the focus, and with that satisfaction comes peace.
Time spent in shrine is an offering. And the way we spend our time in general — not merely what we spend it on, but how we spend it — is an offering too, one that reverts to us, just as the reversion of food and drink offerings returns their benefit to the ones who offered them. The Kemetic word hotep means “offering” — and it also means “rest,” “satisfaction,” and “peace.” The more I ran around looking for peace, the less I found it. So let peace become my offering, and my offering becomes peace in its turn.
Em hotep, Bast, em hotep.
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