Omake! - The Firecat Fanfics Blooper Reel
For "Falling from the Moon"
You know how it is when a sentence just doesn't come out right, or you look at a scene and realize there's something bizarre going on there that you never intended, or the characters just take off inside your head and get really, really silly. This is where you can find some snips and snails and puppy dog tails that didn't make it into my releases. (Thank goodness....)
Falling from the Moon, Chapter 13, Scene 1, Take 1
Director: "Action!"
"But it's /not/ all right!" Haruhiko complained, his voice rising pitifully. "Tamura-san--!" Turning, Tamura planted both hands on Haru's shoulders, squeezing them in a firm, manly grip.
Sakura: "A /what/?"
[Tamura closes his eyes and looks stoic for about two seconds before they pop open again with a manic gleam. As Haruhiko blinks up at him, Tamura steps back, rips off his coat, and begins to sing.]
Tamura: "I'm...too sexy for my shirt...so sexy that it hurts.... "
Haruhiko: "Wah!!"
Tamura: [has his suit jacket off and is whirling it over his head, gyrating his hips like Elvis] "I'm...too sexy for Milan...too sexy for Milan, New York, and Japan...."
Director: "/CUT! CUT!/ All right, I'll rewrite the line!"
Tamura: [teasingly seductive] "Oh, Haru-chan, come feel my firm, manly--"
[Haruhiko goes over backward, a geyser of blood fountaining from his nose.]
Rin: "Whoo! That's a gusher."
* * * * *
Falling from the Moon, Chapter 16, Scene 1, Take 1
Director: "Action!"
"Uh, ha, ha, ha! Yeah." Jinpachi turned around and undid the buttons on his shirt. He shrugged it off, his skin prickling, whether from the faint, constant chill or the uneasiness of possibly being looked at, he wasn't sure. Unzipping his pack, he dug down into it, found the warmer navy mock-turtleneck.
"Jinpachi," Issei said, "I've been thinking."
[Jinpachi stops.]
Jinpachi: "...You've been thinking? YOU'VE been thinking? I've just spent the last two PAGES thinking! Thinking about dead people. Thinking about sleeping together. Thinking about--uh, never mind. Thinking about explosives and gratuitous dream sequences and even my freaking toothbrush! In fact, I've spent most of this fanfic thinking, except when something actually happens to me, and then I'm suddenly incapable of thinking at all! *Thinking!* And now you come along with *your* thinking and it's all important and serious and portentious and stuff, and we're supposed to wait for your thoughts with bated breath. Well, I'm not! I already know you're going to break up with me, just because I've got a few hang-ups and it takes me two lifetimes to finally buy the clue, and I'm not going to let you do it! I'm going to break up with you FIRST! HA! And then I'm going to stuff Shion in a garbage can and go find Alice and do this and that and the other really perverted thing with her. HA HA! So how about that, Mr. Angsty-pants?"
Issei: "...I was just thinking that these walls would look nice beige."
[Jinpachi falls over with a crash.]
Director: "CUT!"
Issei: [superdeformed and fufufu-ing] ("Just kidding! Just kidding!") "Anou, but Jinpachi...about that thing with Alice...."
Jinpachi: [weakly from the floor] "Eheheheh...." [twitches]
* * * * *
Falling from the Moon, Chapter 16 [between scenes 1 and 2]
Director: [working on a sentence about Rin] "Hmm. I need another word for 'small.' "Little" just doesn't sound right. And I've already used 'short.'" [calls up the AppleWorks thesaurus (v. 5.0)] "'Meager'? "Paltry'? I don't think so...."
Sakura: [as the whole cast leans over the director's shoulder] "'Bantam'? What the heck is that?"
Alice: "An itty-bitty chicken, I think."
Mikuro: "Oh, that's appropriate...."
Jinpachi: "How 'bout 'dwarfish'?"
Issei: "Or 'petite'."
Tamura-san: "Oh, hey, 'lilliputian'! I like that one."
Rin: "I'm going to hurt you. A lot."
* * * * *
Falling from the Moon, Chapter 18, Scene 1 [between takes]
[War was beginning.]
Tamura-san: "What happen ?"
Mikuro: "Somebody set up us the bomb."
Haruhiko: "We get signal."
Tamura-san: "What !"
Haruhiko: "Main screen turn on."
Tamura-san: "It's You !!"
Rin: "How are you gentlemen !!"
Rin: "All your base are belong to us."
Rin: "You are on the way to destruction".
Tamura-san: "What you say !! "
Rin: "You have no chance to survive make your time. "
Rin: "HA HA HA HA .... "
Sakura: "I swear, you guys are so weird...."
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