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02/06/2003 Entry: "Attack of the useless day"

Should I blush, or is it mere synchronicity? ^_^ In any case, if I happen to be one of those people who sounds much same on my weblog as I do in fics, it's probably not surprising, considering that I edit my posts here with, if not the same amount of obsessiveness as my fics, at least a passing facsimile. Self-conscious kitty that I am, I can't help trying to *present* my words to their best effect, even in this supposedly informal forum. (Some women don't go out of the house without putting make-up on; I don't go out on the internet without my editor's hat and metaphorical red pen of death.) So while you will find real truth here, it wears the pretty mask of artifice and careful deliberation, always, because I'm just like that. Hey, we all have our issues. ^_^

I'm still stuck on the steak, or rather the sentence or two right after it, so I spent the train ride home rereading all the bits of fics that I've started over the last year and going, "Ooh, maybe I'll work on this," "Ooh, maybe I'll work on that," "Damn, *I* wrote that?" (or, in the case of the elemental Weiss story with the missing section, "Damn, I *wrote* that"), and in the end I ended up not working on anything. So now, continuing today's trend of uselessness, I've spent the last hour online waiting for people on the West Coast to get onto IRC, and I was going to use it to write an idle rambly thing about my various in-progress projects and the impulses behind my different types of fics and the fact that my WK daydream storylines tend to follow very specific patterns, but instead I started surfing weblogs and am now pining for Gluhen fansubs. Sadly, I'm going to have to wait until somebody releases it to VHS or disc--there's no way I'm downloading full episodes of anything on my 28K-on-a-good-day dialup. Blah. Wolf's Rain looks rather cool too, while I'm pining. Of course, I still haven't watched my fansubs of YnM. Man, am I behind the crest of the wave or what? Maybe I'm just getting old. I *feel* old today, because I just found out in TV Guide that Matthew Broderick is 40. *Matthew Broderick* is *40.* He doesn't look 40. *cries* But I digress. Artfully, of course. ^_^

It's probably just as well that I *don't* have ready access to digisubs, because I'd have a new obsession every week. I'm actually long overdue for a new obsession, which might be why I haven't gotten around to watching YnM yet--I fear the prospect of yet another brain-sucking, fic-demanding set of characters invading my mental territory and setting up house. It's bad enough trying to fend the WK boys off long enough to work on "Sakura"--although if I persist in being stuck in this spot, I *am* going to go back to one of the Weiss fics for a little while, just to keep the writing momentum going. I have to say, I'm a lot less stressed about making progress in "Sakura" now that I actually have something out in prereading. It's such a big relief to have gotten to that stage finally.

And you know, if I *did* have Gluhen, I'd probably end up having to revise all my mental storylines and possibly one or more of the fics-in-progress, so huge brain-sucking potential right there. I suppose I should *heart* my crappy phone lines after all.

And now it's after 10:30, so the West Coasters are probably online, but I need to get to bed because of work tomorrow. The fruitlessness continues. Oh, well--at least I updated some of my weblog links. ^_^